When I was a sophomore in college one of my dearest friends became pregnant. She and her boyfriend, who was and still is a very good person, struggled with what to do. Ultimately they made the choice to have an abortion. There was nothing easy or casual about that decision.
I just had a FB conversation with a man who says he isn’t against abortion; he just didn’t want to pay for it. I assume he meant as a taxpayer. I responded to him “ So it’s money? Here’s your choice: $500 for an abortion pill, or you can adopt a crack baby and pay for therapy for 30 years, or you can pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for the unwanted child’s care in an orphanage until age 18 and then she goes out in the street.” Then he came back and said it was a personal responsibility issue. Why should he pay for someone else’s bad choices? I reminded him of the raped 13-year old and the fetus which would have life-threatening disabilities. I too am too old to have to make such a decision but I get so frustrated because I can’t convince the unconvincable.
Thank you Jeanne for these words. Yes it is not about babies or children it is about control. As a man who will never have to decide this issue I am firmly in favor of the woman making this decision for herself and her body. While in college I too had a friend whose girlfriend had to make this difficult decision. I supported them both at the time as we had to drive from NC to an industrial site somewhere in northern NJ where she underwent the procedure. It was a real clinic and was not thankfully a back alley operation but I could see it was such a difficult decision and very traumatic but it was her decision. I am no longer in touch with either of these friends so I have no idea how it has affected her life. I am so sad that as a nation we are having to revisit this issue. It should be for the woman to decide and no one else. Thanks again for your words and thoughts.
Jeanne, this post is so beautifully expressed, deeply felt, personal, logical, and considered from all points of view. Of course. I loved the way you so clearly brought us into your reasoning. I certainly agree with your position. One of the reasons I am so committed to child advocacy is that it seems, as you note, those who are the most vociferous against a woman’s right to choose are the same people who take no corporate responsibility for children once they are born: funding, fostering/adopting, passing pro-child legislation, education pre-K through college, and caring generally about their future. I never got that. Thank you for your cogent post.
This is one of the best articles I have read about abortion. While I personally don’t know as I could ever have a abortion (which won’t happen as I am past child bearing age and won’t have to make that decision)but never the less I believe that is a decision that should be left up to the women who is pregnant. Abortion is not black and white. Yes and no. What if the pregnancy is the result of rape or incest, which happens a lot more than we hear about as some family’s keep it quiet, or carrying the pregnancy to term puts a woman’s life in danger? I sometimes ask myself if making abortion illegal is about saving babies lives or is it about getting votes. Most of these politicians oppose child welfare legislation and are not concerned about the welfare of children after they are born. I don’t believe they should be involved with anyone’s personal medical decisions about their pregnancy. That should be left up entirely to the pregnant woman and it is not in our place to judge their decision.
Thank you Jeanne and thank you Tom for your comments from the male perspective. This is such a delicate, intimate and personal choice. It saddens me to see it used for political and pulpit power. Anna
I just had a FB conversation with a man who says he isn’t against abortion; he just didn’t want to pay for it. I assume he meant as a taxpayer. I responded to him “ So it’s money? Here’s your choice: $500 for an abortion pill, or you can adopt a crack baby and pay for therapy for 30 years, or you can pay hundreds of thousands of dollars for the unwanted child’s care in an orphanage until age 18 and then she goes out in the street.” Then he came back and said it was a personal responsibility issue. Why should he pay for someone else’s bad choices? I reminded him of the raped 13-year old and the fetus which would have life-threatening disabilities. I too am too old to have to make such a decision but I get so frustrated because I can’t convince the unconvincable.
Thank you Jeanne for these words. Yes it is not about babies or children it is about control. As a man who will never have to decide this issue I am firmly in favor of the woman making this decision for herself and her body. While in college I too had a friend whose girlfriend had to make this difficult decision. I supported them both at the time as we had to drive from NC to an industrial site somewhere in northern NJ where she underwent the procedure. It was a real clinic and was not thankfully a back alley operation but I could see it was such a difficult decision and very traumatic but it was her decision. I am no longer in touch with either of these friends so I have no idea how it has affected her life. I am so sad that as a nation we are having to revisit this issue. It should be for the woman to decide and no one else. Thanks again for your words and thoughts.
Jeanne, this post is so beautifully expressed, deeply felt, personal, logical, and considered from all points of view. Of course. I loved the way you so clearly brought us into your reasoning. I certainly agree with your position. One of the reasons I am so committed to child advocacy is that it seems, as you note, those who are the most vociferous against a woman’s right to choose are the same people who take no corporate responsibility for children once they are born: funding, fostering/adopting, passing pro-child legislation, education pre-K through college, and caring generally about their future. I never got that. Thank you for your cogent post.
This is one of the best articles I have read about abortion. While I personally don’t know as I could ever have a abortion (which won’t happen as I am past child bearing age and won’t have to make that decision)but never the less I believe that is a decision that should be left up to the women who is pregnant. Abortion is not black and white. Yes and no. What if the pregnancy is the result of rape or incest, which happens a lot more than we hear about as some family’s keep it quiet, or carrying the pregnancy to term puts a woman’s life in danger? I sometimes ask myself if making abortion illegal is about saving babies lives or is it about getting votes. Most of these politicians oppose child welfare legislation and are not concerned about the welfare of children after they are born. I don’t believe they should be involved with anyone’s personal medical decisions about their pregnancy. That should be left up entirely to the pregnant woman and it is not in our place to judge their decision.
Thank you Jeanne and thank you Tom for your comments from the male perspective. This is such a delicate, intimate and personal choice. It saddens me to see it used for political and pulpit power. Anna
Thank you, Jeanne; so very well said.