The anti-bucket list

Most of us at least know what it means to have a bucket list. Many of us have one. A bucket list is a list of things you want to do or experience before you die. Some people make very formal bucket lists and others (I am this category) type a few items on one of our list apps on our iPhone or jot the list on a scrap piece of paper.

My bucket list is not very ambitious. Here are a few items I have on my list::

1- Attend the Mt. Olive Pickle drop on New Year’s Eve;

2-Visit the Civil Rights Museum in Greensboro, NC;

3- Attend the Easter sunrise service in the Moravian cemetery in Winston-Salem (this one I can check off the list as I did it last year—and it was magnificent!)

4— Take my entire family to Sligo, Ireland where my great grandparents lived….

and so on and so on. Nothing is too amazing on my list except for # 4 and it is probably the least likely to ever be checked off because of the expense and the fact that organizing my always-busy family to do anything together is an almost impossible feat.

But I recently read an article (I think it was in an AARP publication) about someone who, after losing a job and fighting an intense battle with cancer, decided he no longer needed a bucket list but instead has made an anti-bucket list.

He came to realize that he didn’t need to travel or visit a lot of exotic places as his past few years had led him to appreciate the more ordinary things in his life. He decided he loved being at home, sitting in his favorite comfy chair. He found there was actually a lot of really wonderful programs to watch on television and restaurants in his own town where he could enjoy a great meal. He truly hoped he would never have to fly anywhere ever again or struggle to make his way through a massive crowd to any event.

At first I thought, “Well, that is rather dull.”

But when I really thought about it I realized that this man had a point. Finding the everyday things in our lives to enjoy and celebrate is something we too often ignore. I think the trauma of being fired and his battle with cancer brought him to the place of loving the somewhat mundane things in his life.

I think we all have more to be grateful for than we sometimes realize. I began to ponder what I might put on my anti-bucket list. Here are a few:

1—To never force myself to eat broccoli or cauliflower ever again no matter how many articles I read about them being super-foods. I don’t like them. My goal is to not eat them.

2— To not be ashamed of watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy on occasion. Okay, they are not exactly high-class intellectual fare but they are quite fun to watch sometimes. Watching them is often relaxing plus it always reminds me how much my mother loved those shows and how much I loved her.

3— To never go camping again. Been there, done that and I have to tell you I love a good hotel (or even a medium-good hotel) and a comfy bed and oh yes! indoor plumbing. We made a good decision years ago when we gave away our tent.No plans to buy another one.

4—I can happily eliminate ever trying to ski, skydive, swim with sharks or run a marathon. Nope. Not for me.

5— My ears are pierced and I have no plans to ever pierce anything else on my body.

6— I actually like other people’s tattoos but I can say with confidence I will not be getting one for myself. I plan to avoid any unnecessary pain as much as possible.

So you get the idea. Give it a try. It’s quite fun to give yourself permission to NOT do some things. Take the pressure off yourself to live that exciting, adventurous life you dreamed of at age 20 or 30 or even 50. Celebrate just being you—regardless of your age— and that you can make your own choices and not feel like your life has to be worthy of an article in The New York Times or a guest spot with Stephen Colbert.

I don’t think any of us were placed on the planet to impress others. My advice is: impress yourself by just being fully you. And it’s okay to be a you who hates broccoli!