When I was actively serving as an Episcopal priest I always encouraged people to “get their house in order” and write out plans for the time when they would move on to The Great Beyond. I still believe that everyone should make these decisions now. Do you want to be buried or cremated or maybe a green burial? Do you want a burial service—and, if it is part of your tradition, do you want that service with communion or without? Where do you want to be buried? Do you have favorite readings or hymns or other music you would like to be part of your service?
And after you write it all down (it won’t help if it is just in your head) tell your children or others (priest, chaplain, friends) about your decisions and where they can find the written copies of your choices. It’s also a good idea to tell them where your will is kept and other records they will need (like bank account numbers and computer passwords).
Some people think this is morose. Some people think they will literally die tomorrow if they were to plan these things. I can tell you as someone who has been with many, many families after a death, and as someone who has had a family member die unexpectedly, you will be giving those you love one of the best gifts you can give. Our work on this side is to make things as easy as possible for those who are left to take care of those myriad of demanding details that come and come at a time when our hearts are often broken in pieces.
Tom and I have done much of the pre-planning but there are still details we haven’t completed. I can also say that post-pandemic there are things I want to change now. Not big things like who gets the insurance money, but small things like what I would like my burial service to include.
I did pick out the hymns for my service. This was hard because I love so many hymns. Having grown up in the Baptist church and then spent the last 40+ years as an Episcopalian, I have a pretty wide array of favorites. Having been a priest I am also aware that there are some of my favorites (like St. Patrick’s Breastplate) are too hard to sing and many would say way too long. So I tried to err on the side of hymns that are easy to sing but still mean a lot to me.
One of these hymns is Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. This is not a hymn included in the Episcopal hymnal so I had to search for the music and words (there are numerous versions) and make a copy for my Great Beyond burial file folder.
There are many reasons I love this hymn. One of the reasons has to do with our daughter when she was a little girl. Both she and her brother loved to sing this song. They would sing it at the top of their little lungs.
One day she asked me, “Mommy, who is Cherry Ott?”
I paused and pondered that name and then told her that I did not know anyone named Cherry Ott.
“Yes, you do, Mommy. Don’t you know that song we sing about the little girl on the swings?”
I was still puzzled.
She seemed puzzled that I was puzzled.
“Swing Low, sweet Cherry Ott…” she sang.
Then I got it. The concept of a “chariot” was not part of her little girl lexicon. What she heard was a name—“Cherry Ott.”
It was one of those moments when you hesitate to speak the truth because you honestly love your child’s vision so much more than what you know the word in the song to be. But I explained “chariot” to her and she seemed surprised yet accepting.
But I never hear this hymn without remembering the little girl “Cherry Ott” or without my heart overflowing with the love for my own little girl then and still.
So yes. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot is one of the hymns I hope you will sing when I am being carried home.
Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
Swing low, sweet chariot
Coming for to carry me home
I looked over Jordan and what did I see
Coming for to carry me home
A band of angels coming after me
Coming for to carry me home
Sometimes I’m up and sometimes I’m down
Coming for to carry me home
But still my soul feels heavenly bound
Coming for to carry me home
The brightest day that I can say
Coming for to carry me home
When Jesus washed my sins away
Coming for to carry me home
If I get there before you do
Coming for to carry me home
I’ll cut a hole and pull you through
Coming for to carry me home
If you get there before I do
Coming for to carry me home
Tell all my friends I’m coming too
Coming for to carry me home.
I too grew up in a Baptist church and quite familiar with the song “Swing Low Sweet Chariot.” I loved the story about “Cherry Ott.” While I have some things in order I still have some to work on, so thanks for the reminder.
I still see Cherry Ott in my head when I sing this song!