A few weeks ago I received an email from a friend who is a fellow blogger and someone for whom I have enormous respect. He shared a quotation from Bertrand Russell (The Value of Free Thought, 1944) that he gleaned in a course he is currently taking on Modern Free Thinkers.
This is the quotation:
“What makes a freethinker is not his beliefs but the way in which he holds them. If he holds them because his elders told him they were true when he was young, or if he holds them because if he did not he would be unhappy, his thought is not free; but if he holds them because, after careful thought he finds a balance of evidence in their favor, then his thought is free, however odd his conclusions may seem.
The person who is free in any respect is free from something; what is the free thinker free from? To be worthy of the name, he must be free of two things: the force of tradition and the tyranny of his own passions. No one is completely free from either, but in the measure of a man’s emancipation he deserves to be called a free thinker.”
I had an unusual experience when I read this. I felt overwhelmed and stunned by the pronouns:
“What makes a freethinker is not HIS beliefs but the way in which HE holds them. If HE holds them because HIS elders told HIM they were true when HE was young, or if HE holds them because if HE did not HE would be unhappy, HIS thought is not free; but if HE holds them because, after careful thought HE finds a balance of evidence in their favor, then HIS thought is free, however odd HIS conclusions may seem.
The person who is free in any respect is free from something; what is the free thinker free from? To be worthy of the name, HE must be free of two things: the force of tradition and the tyranny of HIS own passions. No one is completely free from either, but in the measure of a MAN’S emancipation HE deserves to be called a free thinker.”
As any woman can tell you, this is hardly the first time I have had to “translate” a written (or spoken) thought in order to feel included. Initially I just thought, “Well, Bertrand Russell wrote this in 1944, what would anyone expect?”
But this quotation and all those masculine pronouns really unsettled me. 1944 was only 5 years before I was born which means I was born into a world where he/his/him were perfectly acceptable as the measure of free thinking or thinking at all. I don’t know what Russell thought but it would not be unusual for him to think of men as intellectually superior or as the male species as the only ones to be included as free thinkers.
I do not think this is what my friend who shared the quotation with me thinks. I was actually truly surprised at my own strong, gut-level reaction.
My reaction led to some intense reflection over the past few weeks—how our language, our words, can exclude and alienate—even when that may not be the intention.
This led me to think about the pronouns we can choose today which allow each of us to share more truthfully who we are. I have struggled with this. I had several teachers in high school, most notably Miss Penny in 11th grade, who drilled us without mercy on grammar. She would never have allowed someone to select what we knew as a plural pronoun such as “they” to be used for an individual, whom she (and most grammarians) would see as needing a singular pronoun.
I have struggled to get “they” to come out of my mouth when I am talking about someone, even when that someone has clearly decided and expressed that they is the correct pronoun for themselves. But—at last—I finally get it. I finally got it when I read the Bertrand Russell quote and thought, “I don’t care if it was 1944, all those male pronouns make be feel like I don’t count.” I don’t want my words to make anyone feel like they don’t matter.
Imagine what it feels like when neither “he” nor “she” feels right for whom you are.
On our recent trip to Minnesota, I noticed that our grandson was wearing a button where he works in an ice cream shop that gave his preferred pronouns: he, him, his. I was a proud of him for realizing that we all need to claim the pronouns that are true for each individual. One of his co-workers and friends wore a they, them, theirs button.
I read that at King Arthur Baking Company in Vermont they now offer a preferred pronoun button to all their employees if they choose to wear one. I like the button idea as I feel it is helping educate and remind us to include someone who has been excluded too often.
This has made me intent on trying harder to be appropriate in the pronouns I use. I am 72 years old so it is going to take me being intentional until it feels more natural and routine for me. Sorry, Miss Penny, you will have to get used to it. You, too, Bertrand. Even Cartoon Network agrees!
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Jeanne, thank you for this. I’m working on this every day. Often, I find it easiest to use the person’s name instead of struggling to make my brain get in gear. But it’s so true that this is how humans feel seen in the world. So, if for no other reason than out of respect for our fellow humans, I keep trying. I mean, we used to use “thee” and “thou” when referring to someone. Language is fascinating and always changing. I so appreciate your thoughtfulness on the subject!
I also find the constant referral to God as male in scripture and hymns quite off-putting.