Going for a walk does not sound all that exciting, does it? The truth is it was really exciting as I have barely left our apartment in over three weeks. Taking a walk seemed almost impossible to me a few days earlier as I have spent the past few weeks getting over (or should I say “through”) Covid.
One month ago I flew to Massachusetts to see family and the day after I arrived, I realized I was sniffly and thought, “Hmmm…I think I might be getting a cold.” I haven’t had a cold in quite a long time so it did seem a bit strange, but I had been on an airplane and in two different but both very crowded airports so a cold seemed possible.
The day after those sniffles started, I thought, “Hmmm…I better take a Covid test. Just in case.” I did not see how I could possibly have Covid as I was fully vaccinated and boostered, but just to be sure.” I took a home test and it came back negative. Okay. So I have a cold. But the sniffles kept getting more sniffly and my throat kept getting more and more sore and I just didn’t feel well. Two days after the negative test, I took another Covid test. Positive. I just couldn’t believe I really had Covid. This just can’t be. So I took another test. Positive. Yes. I had Covid. It was becoming more and more obvious with each passing hour.
So now the challenge was that I had to get home which meant I had to fly back knowing I was infected. I wanted to leave Massachusetts because I definitely did not want my daughter or grandchildren getting Covid (they didn’t), so I left as I had originally planned, on a flight the next morning. I wore a mask. An N95 one (I still carry masks; some habits don’t die). I tried to avoid getting close to people (especially elderly people—which is somewhat ironic as I fall into that category). The truth is I felt terrible. So terrible that it was not much of a stretch of my imagination that I would die in the airport or on the plane. It took all my strength to power through that day and I really did not have much strength at that point. I felt nauseous and could not eat; I could barely swallow as my throat was so incredibly sore.
My husband knew what was happening as we had talked and texted. He met me at the airport. I sat in the backseat; he was driving. We both wore masks. We drove home with the windows of the car rolled down for as much ventilation as possible.
We live in a one bedroom apartment. He had rented a cot and set up his space in the living room. I went directly into the bedroom, closed the door and collapsed (I mean that quite literally) onto the bed. I was so happy to be home. Even though I was sick, even though I had Covid, at least I was home. I slept. Fitfully, but I slept.
The good news is that our daughter and our grandchildren did NOT get Covid. The good news is that my husband did NOT get Covid. The bad news is that I had a rip-roaring case of Covid that has taken me over three weeks to get over, to feel better and to start feeling more like myself.
I was foolish. I did not wear a mask in those overcrowded, mob-scene airports when I left on my journey. The truth is NO ONE was wearing a mask. I saw maybe two people wearing masks. We have gotten so casual about it all. I was stupid not to wear a mask in those crowds. The truth is I never even thought about wearing a mask. All these years, all these precautions—I was safe. I was protected. I was invulnerable. Not.
No food tasted good. I finally found that fruit popsicles tasted okay and soothed my throat and helped keep me hydrated. Finally the sniffles, the aches, the sore throat subsided and the remnant was just fatigue. Trust me: there is no such thing as “just” fatigue. Fatigue is a beast that seems only satisfied when it wipes you out and demands you take a three hour nap every afternoon and sleep nine or ten hours each night.
FINALLY—-and it has now been a full month since I first had those initial sniffly symptoms—I am feeling like I am me again. I still usually take a nap in the afternoon but I feel like I am over Covid.
It was a shock to get it. It is also a shock to realize how long and how viciously it can take you under. I know I am one of the lucky ones. I didn’t die. I didn’t have to go to the hospital. No one else in my family caught it from me. But I will also tell you that you don’t feel lucky when you have it. You do feel incredibly happy when you finally test negative.
I know that I could get it again. I know that no matter what you do and how many precautions you take, that you might get it, too. But yes, I will wear a mask when I fly (if I fly again). I will wear a mask in crowded situations. And I will get the new vaccination when it comes out later this fall.
We can be careful and I think we should be as careful and cautious as we can. But there is also a randomness about this virus that we need to acknowledge. It meant a lot to me that friends emailed and texted me when they knew I was sick. One even left a little vase of zinnias outside our apartment door. It meant a lot to me that my daughter and my husband did so much for me when I was so sick, knowing they were at risk from even being near me. It did not comfort me when one friend “lectured me” on Facebook that masks don’t matter and I should have been taking more Vitamin C and zinc. If I had had the strength I would have sent a slap emoji. And if you get Covid but have really mild symptoms, please don’t go around bragging that it wasn’t so bad, wasn’t anything worse than a cold. Please. Keep those thoughts to yourself. Give thanks you were so fortunate. Not everyone is.
So…that is why I disappeared from my blog and my world this last month. I wasn’t in the joy zone as my previous post encouraged. Covid will humble you at best and, if you’re lucky, hopefully not do anything worse than that.
Take care of yourselves, dear friends. And if this crazy virus gets a hold of you, I hope you shake it quickly and I hope you have family and friends that show you love and care until you do get through it. I was really lucky in about a million ways. Really lucky.
I am so glad you are feeling better. Thank you for sharing your story. Tom and I are (in about 10 days) off to Italy. I am definitely going to wear a mask in the airports and where ever there are crowds of people. I am hoping the Covid shot will be available before we leave. Blessings, Ann
Oh geesh! We are so sorry you were so sick. But good for you for letting us all know just how bad it can be still! So glad you are feeling better now. Big hug.
Bruce & Sylvie