Long, long ago, when I was in elementary school, there was a magazine titled CALLING ALL GIRLS. There was a reoccurring segment in that magazine titled “Was My Face Red!” girls wrote in about their embarrassing moments. I suppose it was to offer girls support by acknowledging that everyone has embarrassing moments—even if those published moments were not all that embarrassing and were certainly of the “I can share this and not be mortified” variety.
However, there are certain things that no girl would ever dream of writing in about and having in print. I am going to share a really embarrassing moment with you. It is one that I have never shared with anyone. And it certainly has never been in print before now.
I was in the 8th grade of Middle School (though we called it Junior High in my day). I went to school that morning wearing a really pretty shirtwaist dress in light pastel colors. This was also the era when girls could not wear pants to school so dresses or skirts and blouses were your only options. At some point that morning I realized that I had started my period and had bled through my panties onto the back of my dress. Needless to say, I was absolutely mortified.
I managed to get an excuse slip to go to the Nurse’s Office (every school had a school nurse in those days), holding the back of my dress scrunched to the side with hopes that no one would notice as I traversed the hallways and the flights of stairs to the first floor where all the offices were located. I made it to the office and the nurse was very kind; she could offer me a menstrual pad but she had no spare panties and certainly not a spare dress. I had to call my mother. She came. She brought clean clothes and some extra supplies but I could tell she was even more embarrassed than I was. She could not comprehend how I could not have known I was about to start my period. She was actually borderline angry with me. I was ashamed. Really ashamed. But I cleaned myself up, changed my clothes and went back to class.
When I reflect back on that day now, I think, “Oh, for crying out loud! I was barely 13 years old!! How could I have been tuned in to what my body with its myriad of adolescent changes was going to do?!?!” It is one of the very few times that I do not think fondly of my mother. But I also realize it was a different time and an even more different time for my mother. It was the era when you didn’t even say the word “period” unless you were talking about punctuation and “menstruation” was way outside of anyone’s comfort vocabulary. It was a time when anything related to the body should be kept secret, hidden.
However, I learned that day that there are some things that one cannot hide. Periods happen. I survived and my mother never mentioned it again.
Anita Diamant, probably best known for her novel The Red Tent, has a new book of essays out titled: Period. End of Sentence. The subject matter may be one that still makes some people squirm: menstruation. The subject matter may make some people turn away because they think it doesn’t affect them, yet it does. Just because you are male or dancing away into the menopause years, this affects all of us. Why would we want young women be embarrassed or feel uncomfortable acknowledging their bodies and normal female bodily functions?
There is also another issue: women who do not have the financial means to purchase the needed products for this absolutely normal and absolutely out of their control bodily function. One study reported that 46 percent of low income women have had to choose between buying food or buying menstrual products.
Imagine you are a high school girl and you do not have the money to pay for menstrual products. What do you do during your period? You stay home from school. This is not a good choice but for some it is the only choice. A 2019 Harris poll reported that 25 percent of teens have missed class because they do not have access to needed period products.
The good news is that even though we have a long way to go, the times they are a-changing. In some places they are changing faster than in other places.
Last year, the Scottish Parliament passed the “Period Products Act” which will make tampons and pads available free of charge across the country. Other governments are at least repealing the taxes one pays when purchasing menstrual products. These countries include Australia, Ireland, Columbia, India, Malaysia, Kenya, and Rwanda. Hmmm….notice a country that is missing?
In NC there are two bills (one in the House, one in the Senate) which have passed the first reading and been sent to committees; these bills would exempt menstrual products from sales tax. It’s not what I would hope (my hope is more along the line of following Scotland’s lead) but it is a step. If you are a North Carolinian, contact your Legislators and ask for their support for HB 595 and SB 614.
As of April 7, the bill had been filed, passed first reading, and referred to the Senate Committee on Rules and Operations of the Senate. This committee will then have the task to review the bill and consider whether or not it will be presented to the full body.
If passed, this bill would go into effect on Oct. 1, 2021, and would apply to sales made on or after this date. (If you are not a North Carolinian, check and find out what your state does or is trying to do).
According to Period Equity, an organization fighting for menstrual equality, 20 states have already exempted feminine hygiene products from sales tax. Defenders of bills like this assert that this tax is an injustice to women as they are necessary products and not “luxury” products as the opponents of these bills claim.
This is not just a problem in the United States. One can become more aware of the global scope by watching a film (on Netflix or by clicking the link below) titled Period. End of Sentence, an excellent documentary, directed by Rayka Zehtabchi; the film won the Academy Award for Best Documentary Short (91st Academy Awards). The film is about The Pad Project and the efforts to make menstrual pads available in the Hapur district outside of New Delhi.
Here in Western North Carolina, we have Project Dignity. Their mission is “to provide period products to women and girls who are homeless, low-income, or victims of domestic abuse.” These products are distributed to schools, public housing offices, food pantries, prisons and social service agencies on a regular schedule.
Barbara Morgan, the visionary woman who founded Project Dignity in 2014, recently died after a long illness, but the important work she began continues. Tom and I contribute financially to Project Dignity. We believe what they are doing serves a real need that is not being met in our communities. I have worked as a volunteer to help pack their period products; we break down large boxes of supplies and package them in small quantities to help them go to as many women as possible as well as to allow students in need to be able to discreetly carry the products.
You can find out more about Project Dignity on their website and contributions can be mailed to: Project Dignity, PO Box 6104, Hendersonville, NC 28793.
Look in the mirror. We are the ones who can make a difference. We can give. We can volunteer. We can contact our legislators and our members in Congress and ask that they pay attention to what happened in Scotland and to work to make this happen for every young woman in our own country. It is not just a matter of calling all girls; it is a matter of economic justice and personal dignity and that affects all of us.
Calling all who care.
Thank you for writing about this often neglected subject. I believe it is so important and so often overlooked.